I have always joked with my friends that the time of year that I hate the most is the holidays. My reasons are simple: bad past experiences, change in my routine, and worst of all, the feeling of obligation to do a million things or risk hurting people’s feelings.
For many people, though, the holidays can lead to thoughts of depression, despair, and even suicide.
A Time of Reflection
One of the reasons that many of us, even with lives that look strong and fulfilling on the outside, struggle with the end of the year is that it is a natural time for reflection.
Many of us finally have time to sit around the house during the holidays and reflect on our lives. While this can be powerful and help us identify areas that need to change, it can also be a time when we lose objectivity and focus solely on the bad things in our life.
I get down just over a review of how little progress I’ve made in the past year on my goals. Imagine if you felt there were core areas of your life that you weren’t making progress in or saw in decline.
A Time of Loneliness and Feeling Left Out
The holidays are a time for parties and friends and family so why are so many people depressed? The truth is that while it is that it is also a time when many of us feel left out from that mix. Others get invited to the parties, but we do not. We invite people to our party, but they don’t come. Friends make other plans. Family can’t ever seem to all get together.
It’s New Year’s eve and I’m all alone. Why?
These feeling and thoughts often put people in a place where they feel out of control and some even wonder if life is worth living.
What can I do if I feel this way?
1) The only way that you will quench this feeling in the long term is through understanding and embracing God’s love for you.
Trust me. I’ve got the good job, the nice house, the great family and while I love those things, they don’t bring me peace. The job can be stressful, the house breaks down, and the family require time and money. All are good and worth it, but they don’t bring peace.
That only comes through understanding God’s love for you where you are and how you are.
2) Realize that you’re not alone.
You may feel alone, but you really aren’t. Everyone struggles with life. Everyone has things they wish they could change. Everyone has regrets. Everyone wishes they had an extra five grand in the bank and wish they could lose another five pounds.
3) Look for someone to help
When we take our eyes off of ourselves, it gives us some of the much needed perspective that we lose when we feel bad. That laser focus on ourselves is a survival mechanism left over from a long time ago, but it can also become our enemy. Focusing on other people allows us to get past those instincts and make a difference.
Not sure what to do? Here’s a few ideas:
Go to Starbucks and leave the barista a $20 tip.
Call the local homeless shelter and volunteer to serve meals during your holidays.
Clean out your closet and donate all the stuff to goodwill.
Buy a bunch of gift certificates to Wal-Mart or McDonalds and hand them out to the homeless.
Make two sack lunches and find a homeless person and share a meal or walk with them to McDonalds and buy them get what they want.
4) Throw a party
Years ago when my wife and I didn’t have any where to go on Super Bowl Sunday, we threw a party and opened it up to everyone who didn’t have a place to go for the Super Bowl. We still have a consistent following every Super Bowl Sunday. We don’t have the best snacks, the biggest TV (it’s actually pretty small), or very good parking at our location, but we do have a good time and people feel welcome.
5) Join a club, organization, or online gaming site
Sounds dumb? You’d be surprised at the level of camaraderie that develops on these sites and the friendships that can be made.
6) Talk to someone.
As I’ve said in #1, the real key is God, but sometimes it helps to talk to someone. Don’t have anyone to talk to?
You can toss me some questions on and I’d be glad to answer your questions.
7) Remember that life is good
We have such unrealistic expectations of life that we forget just how good we have it. Hey, you’re on the internet reading this so you’re doing better than probably two or three billion people who are just happy to have food and shelter today.
Disclaimers:
All stories and articles are original content by Kent Ostby unless otherwise noted.
To contact me, you can email me at: contact@kentostby.com or leave a comment on the site.
