We are all fragile; Three steps to keeping your emotional balance

Do you have that friend who appears to always be doing something cool, hanging out with someone you could only dream of hanging with, or meeting some lofty goal that maybe was even on your list.

Does it leave you wondering what’s wrong with you?

Join the club

The truth is that behind the machismo, the sniping, the posting of our best selfies, we are all fragile.

We are created for relationship and so because of that we worry if we are good enough to be loved either in small ways by a lot of people or in that one big way by that one special person.

It has been argued that the majority of our bad behavior is based not so much on trying to attain something that we really want, but trying to attain something that someone else has which we therefor mistaken for something we really want.

So how do we deal with this fragility?

First, be happy for the people who are more skilled or have better stuff than you. 

When you see someone who handles their money better than you, be glad for them while trying to learn from them. Someone has a nicer house than you (I would like Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club myself), be grateful and happy for them. Someone tossed a great party without you? Good for them. They just made other people happy and the world needs more of that.

Second, understand that your natural skills are completely coveted by people around you.

You may feel you talk to much, but others see the positive side that you are able to connect with people in ways that others don’t.  If you are wondering what your skills are, buy a copy of the Strengthsfinders skills assessment and let them tell you.

Third, remember that happiness starts when you make a choice to be happy and enjoy each day.

If money brought happiness, then celebrities wouldn’t commit suicide.

If beautiful spouses brought happiness, then Billy Joel wouldn’t have cheated on Christie.

If you think happiness depends on the physical, read the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible where the richest wisest man said that it all lead to nothing.

What we do have is today. You may need to spend part of it working, but you’ve got some time to yourself no matter how busy you are. Do what makes you happy and you’ll feel less fragile in the flood of social media.

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